So I’m transfemme and I’ve actually been fundraising for a couple of years now for things to feel more comfortable in my body. I thought I would be happy with just being “androgynous” and making smaller changes via minor cosmetic interventions such as filler, but the more I progress the more certain I become that I really want my body to be stereotypically feminine. I’d like to have facial feminisation surgery and eventually breast implants amongst other things to make this dream I have of myself come true.

My name is Ashley I am a northern soul currently navigating life as a struggling creative in London.
My internal navigation of my identity however is what brings me here to ask you for your help. Help in reaching a physical state which finally feels like a true reflection of who I am.

I feel very privileged and blessed to currently live in an incredibly supportive environment full of people that are happy to see my internal and external growth. I’ve spent most of my life ignoring very fraught internal conflicts and suppression of my identity out of both fear and being an inconvenience to those around me, now I have managed to break this mentality the next steps I need to take have become more and more apparent.

I am non binary - definitely existing on the more feminine end of this spectrum - and I am now in a space where I am no longer willing to hinder my quality of life with the confusion and dysphoria my body brings me. Whilst I love certain “masculine” qualities my body and self possesses; I feel such despair with others, and it pains me to be so overwhelmingly perceived as a man in the society we exist within.

The truth is, I don’t know where this journey is going to take me, which really does confuse and scare me at times. But what I do know is that it is a necessary journey that I must embark upon with more urgency if I am going to exist truly happily.

My immediate hopes are to begin HRT & have some minimally invasive procedures to continue to soften and feminise my face, and if I were to raise enough money I’d really like to be able to have some proper FFS yielding permanent results. I would also really like to have laser hair removal in certain areas that I find especially triggering for my gender dysphoria (if only you knew the rate at which my body produces hair) & some body sculpting and further gender affirming surgeries to continue to feminise/harmonise my relationship with my body.

In certain areas of my expression I feel so steadfast and confident, but my lack of security within my body leaves me feeling so uncomfortable and unable to do so many things which I would love to do.
The oppression and violence I experienced so regularly growing up in my small hometown left me in a state of bitterness, trauma and rage for years. I hated myself.

As I’ve grown into adulthood - fortunately outside of that space - I’ve been able to start and continue healing from this, and been able to explore my identity more freely. Having this freedom has completely changed me as a person, it’s made me a much better person. Someone that I would actually want to be around and spend time with.

So I think what I’m asking for in the deepest sense is for your help in me becoming the best version of myself, because that person has even more to offer this world than I do now.

If you’ve gotten to this point I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this. If you aren’t in a position to donate that is okay, recent times have been so difficult for us all! But if you can’t donate, sharing this and possibly bringing it to the attention of someone that can would really mean the world.

Thank you thank you x